Here are some ways to provide support and comfort to your family member or friend going through a mental crisis.
1. See things from his/her perspective
Imagine yourself being in the shoes of the distressed person, what would you be thinking, feeling and doing? What would your desires be? What help would you need?
Allowing ourselves to see things from the perspective of the distressed person can help us better understand the degree or nature of the distress and empathise with him/her better. Avoid being quick to minimise his/her feelings through words like “you are overreacting”, “this is just a small matter” or “you just need to pick yourself up and get over it”.
These words can make him/her feel judged, belittled or even silenced. Instead, acknowledge and normalize his/her feelings through words like “I hear that you are feeling hurt, If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way or maybe worse”.
2. Show Understanding
- Express compassion for what the person is going through. Highlight that they are already brave for speaking up, and thank him/her for choosing to confide in you.
3. Ask How He/She Would Like To Be Supported
Let the person know that you are here for him/her, and ask how you can best support them. For example, you can offer to provide a listening ear, give words of encouragement/affirmations, or assist in practical ways such as helping to run errands to offload part of his/her burden.
4. Focus On The Present Moment
Encourage the person to place their focus on the present, instead of ruminating on the past, or being anxious about the future.This can be done through practicing mindfulness exercises, which enhances a conscious awareness of the present in a non-judgemental manner.
5. Encourage Self-care
If the distressed person has been neglecting his/her self-care, encourage them to be consistent in exercising self-care through setting aside time to engage in his/her hobbies or any other pleasurable activities, exercising, taking proper meals, and sleeping regularly.
6. Respect His/Her Decisions
While we want the distressed person to resolve their distress as soon as possible, we need to be respectful that at times, people will take time to seek and accept help, and even more time to make changes into their lives. We need to pace ourselves with him/her as the feeling of being pressured or rushed can lead to greater resistance.
